Poem: The Backward-Looking Window

Yep, just for the sake of posting, I decided to give you a poem. Just made it, it's been at the back of my head for some time now, though. Don't be too harsh, I haven't done poetry in quite some time.
Oh, and please leave comments on its deviantART page. Don't have an account? Sign up, it's free. (promotion much? XD)

The Backward-Looking Window

Through the Backward-Looking Window I
look with eyes shut tight I
see images clear, distorted

From without I see outside
From within I see inside
Through the Backward-Looking Window

With legs locked still I
move, with eyes unopened I
peer the Backward-Looking Window

Through lidded eyes I see
people, objects
Time, forgotten.

With arms unmoving
I reach,
I grasp

The Window shatters.

PlayStation emulators! (aka Nostalgic Fun)

Yep, I downloaded an emulation program to play PS games on my comp. Well, my cousin's comp, actually. Think it was because I was playing MGS3: Subsistence, which had ports for the original MSX Metal Gear games (Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake). That made me interested in trying out the first Metal Gear Solid game, which was for the PSX. Which I don't have anymore. So I googled emulators and related info.

Found one, ePSXe, pretty decent, needed to set things up first though, which was a handful. Isn't it troublesome playing PS games with the keyboard, you might wonder. Well, fortunately, I have a PS3, and the wireless controller comes with a USB cable to charge its batteries, so I thought I'd google again and see if I can use it on emulators. Turns out I can. :D

So lately I've been playing old games that I liked and remembered, like Spyro, MegaMan Legends, Harvest Moon, and obviously Metal Gear Solid.

It's been really fun, not to mention nostalgic, playing these games. It makes me realize that it's really the original games that were so easy to get hooked on. Compared to current games, they're relatively short to play, and obviously have inferior graphics, but the games are really engaging, and fun to play. It's kind of hard to find games like those nowadays, games that really get you hooked to the characters, the story, while at the same time being fun to play.

Well, anyway, if any of you are interested (and your computer or laptop is up for it), go ahead and give it a go. You might find a better emulator out there too, if you want. :D

-Zet

Just some comments (aka hopefully a short one)

No in-depth discussion today, people, sorry. Just a few things that crossed my mind today.

1. Birthdays.
Why is it, that when someone is celebrating their birthday, they're the ones who have to treat their friends to food, movies, etc.? I mean, it's their birthday, shouldn't they be the ones who get treated to stuff?

2. This article on yahoo. Isn't it just so sweet? Guess stuff like that doesn't only happen in movies. :) Kinda makes me wanna write a story.

3. The bombings last Friday. Tragic. Very tragic. What's even more tragic is what's gonna happen next: increased security at malls. No, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, I'm just saying that our country's penchance for increasing security AFTER terrorist attacks is kind of.. well, sad. Not that it's an easy job, but still. You know.

Lastly, I'm officially asking you, reader, to give me something to think and/or talk about. I'm running out of interesting ideas here.

Much obliged,
-Zet

blog.. blog.. blog.. (aka it's been a week)

It's been a week since my last update, aand, i've got nothing to say today. Well, nothing important, that is. XD
Truth be told, i don't remember much about what's happened in the past week. Sometime in the last 7 days i watched Inkheart with my girlfriend, Sandra. I think we spotted something funny after the movie, but for the life of me i can't remember what.

Oh, I bought the Blu-Ray for Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete that day, too. Well worth the wait and cost, which might push back some of my other expenses. *shrug* Win some, lose some.

I hear school's back in. Might have to go back there some time next week for the paperwork. Preferably with my girlfriend. We've been spending most of the holiday together (me visiting her place, vice versa out of fairness) just messing around, watching the Friends dvd, playing games on her DS, her avoiding my PS3.. man, i have got to get something she can play too.

I can't go over to her place today, got bass lessons this afternoon. She's got stuff to do as well, so in other words, we're not seeing each other today. XD

(switching languages for once) Sebagai gantinya:
Perkenalkan Lope. si boneka beruang nan lucu yg gw beliin dlm rangka 1 bulan jadian. :D Ceritanya lope adalah anak kami, dan sesekali dia 'menginap' di rumah gw. hahah. lope loh yg ketik judul blog ini. XD
Lucu? Swt? peduli amat, daripada bengong d rmh. :P besides, it's good parenting practice.

I don't think i've nothing more to say. XD
See ya!
-Zet

Previous QotD (aka Pathogenic Humanity)

Last post's Quote of the Day was something that I had really connected with when I first read/heard it. There are a lot of other memorable and (in my opinion) significant quotes from the Metal Gear series, but this one in particular was one that I could really connect with.

Why? because it was how I saw the world. No, maybe that's going overboard. It's more like it was how I thought about things in general, and what I try to be and do in life.

I mean, think about it. Most of the problems we have now is because people try to change the world, instead of leave it the way it is. And for those of you who think that we shouldn't just change the world, but make it better, I respectfully disagree. Trying to make the world better is no different from changing it. Besides, let's face it "better" is a very loose and relative term. You don't need me to tell you this, but my "better" and yours may not be the same. Besides, look at wars and conflicts (and some other points) in the past; I'm no good at history, so I'll just mention the obvious ones.

Do you think that Hitler thought he was doing an evil thing when he tried to eradicate Jews? Or the Popes who ordered the Crusades on Jerusalem? Or the industrial revolution, which I view as the starting point for pollution, over-exploitation, and every other environmental issue?

No, these people thought that they were doing the world a favor. They thought that what they were doing was the right thing. They thought they were making the world better.

Still not convinced? Here's you're Quote of the Day:

"I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with their surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to another area, and you multiply, and you multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet."

-Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith, from The Matrix

Again, think about it. Imagine some place on earth where humans haven't yet inhabited. There's an ecosystem; plants, animals, predators, a river, maybe a volcano, whatever you want. Ideally, the food chain would be balanced; plants are eaten by plant-eaters, which are in turn eaten by meat-eaters, which are eaten by... well, bigger meat-eaters.

From what little I've picked up on nature documentaries, carnivores are usually naturally careful about their prey. Eat too much, food runs out. Same goes for the herbivores.
In short, imagine a place where it really is "survival of the fittest"

Say a disease comes along, infects one species. Disease spreads, many die, but said disease has no more hosts. Eventually some other species comes along, reinhabits, end of story.

Now, advances in medical technology may have cured many (and I mean many) diseases, but you could say that it's also accelerated the "evolutionary arms race" against viruses and bacteria. The above scenario is totally ideal, and I think isn't very likely to happen anywhere, even without humans. But the fact that the disease (let's say it was caused by a virus) would run out of hosts and eventually die out is - well, also unlikely, but at least it's plausible. Back on topic, advances in medical technology also causes viruses and bacteria to adapt to the antibodies more quickly than it would "naturally" (i.e. the above "ideal scenario)

I'd say more, but if you've actually bothered to read this far, I'm guessing you're more than capable of thinking up scenarios where the world would be better without humans, so I'm gonna end this post abruptly (for a second there it crossed my mind to just hit "publish" right there) with a final note that I'm not suggesting that we go back to the way things were and live in the dark ages. Please, as idealistic as I sometimes may be, even I don't want that to happen. I'm just saying, let's think about just living life the way it is right now, not changing too much of the world.

Think about it.
-Zet

Sleepy Thoughts (aka "Female Ego?")

So I read this article a couple of weeks ago, can't remember when or where, about relationships, and how ego gets in the way of a good relationship. The way it was written implied that said 'ego' isn't only on the male half of the couple, but the female as well.

Now to be perfectly honest with you all, this was quite something new, because I never thought of it like that before. But then it did make perfect sense; after all, those people smarter than myself who classified the psyche with the "ego, superego, and id" didn't apply it strictly to guys.

Anyway, the article crossed my mind again as I was about to sleep last night, and that got me thinking (which is kinda hard to do when you're sleepy, in case you didn't know) about this so-called "female ego" - if there is such a thing. What am I talking about? There is such a thing, but I don't think it's a fundamental flaw like guys have. The only way for me to explain this would be through an example.

Okay, so say that there's a girl, and maybe she has a job, or is looking for one, a specific type of work that she's good at, or just plain interested in. She applies. Her boyfriend comes along and tries to offer an alternative to that work, maybe something closer to home, or nearer to the route he/they usually take day-to-day, something that (he thinks) is more practical. But she doesn't want to, no. She's pretty satisfied with the job she's already got, which he can't quite understand, so he keeps pestering her to take the other job. They get into an argument, with him saying that she complicates things, while she says that he's limiting her space/freedom of choice.

Now, in this case, whose ego really got the fight started? The guy? No, he isn't thinking about his self (his ego), he's just trying to offer alternatives. No, I think it's the girl's ego is what got in the way. He offers something else to do, and what she does is think that he's closing her space. While in fact he isn't trying to limit her, he just can't understand why she doesn't go with something that he thinks is more practical. Which makes his fault being stupid. I mean insanely stupid. Seriously now, if you girl doesn't want what you suggest, don't force it. That goes the other way too, and not just between couples.
Back on track, it's the girl's ego that started the mess; all she could think about was how he was crushing her space, forcing her to do things she didn't want to, locking her in. When he was only trying to help.

Seriously folks, they're both to blame here. But ego-wise, I think it's the girl's ego that got in the way.

Thoughtfully,
-Zet

Quote of the Day:

"It's not about changing the world, it's about doing our best to leave the world the way it is. It's about respecting the will of others, and believing in your own."
-- Big Boss, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots


P.S
I'd add another example, but as I was typing, it occurred to me that it's actually happened to me. Better not wash one's linen in public, eh?
Since I'm likely to get flamed for this, leave any comments in the Comments section, and not the shoutbox please.

One Long Day (aka Just for the Sake of Posting)

It's been quite a long day for me, despite the fact that I got up around half past ten this morning. Funny thing how some days seem to pass longer than others.
Things I've been up to today:
1. Watching LotR: Return of the King. The extended edition, which lasted well over 3 hours. Quite fun.
2. Playing video games on the computer and PlayStation. Not much to be said there.
3. Continuing writing this short story I've been writing. I call it short, but it's already 6 pages long.
4. Text messaging with my girlfriend.

And that's about it. I'm so bored I don't even know what to write. XD

-Zet

The Judgement Call (aka It's Nothing Personal)

Let's face it, we've all been judged before by others, be it by our parents, peers, teachers, colleagues, or even complete strangers. Heck, chances are we've done the same to others, consciously or not.

People judge others by the way they think, act, talk, heck even the way they look. This is especially true in a conservative society such as ours. (Opinions may differ, but I still count Indonesian society as EXTREMELY conservative) The sad reality of it is that how people judge you, how they see you through their personal spyglass of the world affects how they act towards you in general. This reaction ranges from the mild hesitation when getting acquainted to downright condescending behavior.

What's most concerning to me is that people take this attitude with them everywhere. I mean, they really take it to heart. It seems to me that most Indonesians are foreign to the concept of "not taking it personal". Once they make a negative judgement on someone, they only see that person in a negative light. Which, I suppose, is some sort of generalization.

Here are some of my personal experiences. I wear a bandanna almost everywhere I go. For some reason, the image of someone wearing a bandanna is tied to the gangster/mob/thug/what have you culture. Everywhere I go while wearing said bandanna, I get stared at cautiously by most people, curiously by some (especially kids). Then there's my tattoo. It's only one, and not that big, mind you, but my ex didn't like it, mostly because of the (old-fashioned, stupid, idiotic) association with gangs. Sure, gang members like to wear tattoos, but not every guy who has a tattoo is a gangster. Seriously now.
(On a side note, I'd like to thank my loving girlfriend for letting me be myself, tattoo and all. :D)

It seems that people have this predetermined concept of what's "right" and "wrong", and anything that's different by the slightest is enough call for caution. (you might want to refer to previous post "First Letter" as well)
Seriously now, just because you don't agree with how someone acts/looks, doesn't mean you have to force them to do as you want them to. Is it really that hard for people to "agree to disagree"?

Simple example: I'm an agnostic (google it if you don't know what that is), and most if not all of my friends are religious people. Naturally, we don't see eye-to-eye on that. With some of said friends, I've discussed the matter of religion (thankfully they're open-minded people, otherwise I'd be six feet under right now), and we see each other's point. No, we don't agree on it, but we understand what the other has to say, and respect that. And guess what? We get along perfectly fine. (This gives me an idea for a future post on atheism/agnosticism)

Again, people, try to understand what other people have to say, where they stand. You might not agree with them, but that doesn't mean you have to bitch on them either.

Thoughtfully yours,
-Zet

The Mind is A Powerful Thing (aka Nightmares and Dreamscapes, not by Stephen King)

And it really is. Something I've known for quite a while, but keep finding out in new ways.

"It's all in your head": Let's face it, people. Your brain controls everything. That means what's in your head will most likely affect the rest of your body. What you think affects how you feel (and I'm talking physically, not emotionally) and, obviously, act. Don't believe me? Here's something that happened to me once, back when I was still in 5th grade-ish.

My dad had scheduled me for a routine medical checkup, which included immunization shots. I've never been afraid of needles before. Heck, my mom even told me once that I laughed during one trip to the doctor (though I have no recollection of this at all). But for some reason, I started telling myself (and everyone else) oh no, not the needles again. Come to think of it now, I have no idea why I did that. That was like a month or two before getting the actual shot. Guess what? Come the actual shot, I actually was afraid, and did what every kid afraid of needles does: shut my eyes, clenched my fist and jaw, and started muttering. Much to the amusement of my father, if memory serves.

Guess that "mind over matter" thing really does have some truth in it.

Here's another thing I recently discovered/experienced: how you think and feel (this time I mean emotionally) affects your sleep. I'm guessing most or at least some people have experienced this as a child, and may even still experience it now; sweet dreams after a particularly good day, nightmares after watching a horror movie. Apparently your mood really carries on into your dreams.

Don't have much to say there, though. Haven't actually thought it through. XD

Here's the quote of the day: "If a relationship feels like too much work after the first month, it'll be 10 times harder after a year." - Unknown
This one especially goes to all you girls out there, because guys mostly don't "work on" relationships, do they? (myself included)

Until next time,
-Zet

That Damn "Male Ego" Shit (aka Bathroom Thoughts)

Male Ego. You've heard about it all the time, and I'm guessing if you've actually bothered to read this far, you've been a victim in one way or another. Bear in mind that not EVERY guy is like this, and the main reason that I'm writing this is because of f*ckups that i've discovered in MYSELF.

As you can see from the title, this is something that just crossed my mind while I was in the shower. (Funny how that is, isn't it? Good ideas seem to hit me during the most unexpected moments. Watched something about it once on Discovery, but now I'm digressing again)

Anyway, the first thing that came to mind is how guys just seem to take their girlfriends/fiancees/wives for granted. I mean, these girls are really showing their love and affection for their man, and the guy feels that's just it. That it justifies them to stay with the girl, not really doing much for her in return. And you know what? Most of the time, the girl sticks around for a while longer.

Then there's the all-time favorite, the infamous "ego-boost". The most common form of this is the "ego-boost questions" or EBQ for short. Examples of which would be "Did you have fun?" (after a date), "How were things with your previous boyfriend?" and other questions regarding previous relationships, or even downright straightforward questions such as "How's my kissing?" or even "Am I good in bed?"
And each one of these times they're hoping to hear something good about themselves, or in the case of previous boyfriends, something bad about others, and usually the girl usually dutifully obliges. Kinda like the guy saying, "humor me" and the girl going, "okay"

Another thing is when a guy is told by his friends, "You're so lucky to be dating the hottest girl in class.", or "You're one lucky guy," while staring at said girlfriend's rack.
I mean, why can't he be lucky simply because she loves him? Because she accepts him for all his flaws? Why is it that the number one thing that he likes about her is her measurements, or how often kiss and/or fuck?

Why those things, instead of the way you can hear how much she loves him just by calling his name? Or the way she only has one dimple when she smiles? Or how when she cries, you can tell she's really upset by the way her lips tremble, or that she's angry when they're in a tight purse. How she repeats herself when she's angry and they're having an argument. How no matter what she does with her hair, there's always a stray lock that ends up on her forehead.

How she simply loves her guy, despite the fact that he misses all these things.

Well, that about covers today's rant. Thanks for reading.

Regards,
-Zet