Culture Shock (aka Face Value)

One of my teachers (professors, lecturers, whatever) recently mentioned in class some cultural differences between the Japanese (and most Asian countries) and the West. One that particularly caught my interest was the way westerners are quite straightforward, while most Asians work their way around criticism.

Afterwards, a friend of mine mentioned her discomfort at how another friend of ours liked to hug, poke, and do other things that would get her (the other friend) killed if she (still the other friend) did it to me. I told her that if she doesn't like it, then just say it. Her response: "gak enak", as in she didn't want to offend her. Which led me to ask, "WHY?"
Because she didn't want to offend her. Because she didn't want to offend her. Because she was still considering her (again, the other friend's) feelings.

Right. So it's okay for HER to poke, hug, tickle, and otherwise ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF you, but you don't want to tell her because you're afraid you'll hurt HER feelings? Suit yourself.

In any case, I told her (and yet another friend who was there listening) that if they had something they held against me, they had better tell it to my face rather than talk about it behind my back. That was, after all, what we were doing, albeit unwittingly. What kind of friendship would last if bast on such a lie, anyway?

But seriously now, our people seem to be obsessed with so-called "formalities"; if you do something to offend someone, they could hold it against you forever. Truth be told, I really don't understand that line of thought. Personally, I prefer the "I may not like you, but that doesn't mean I can't work with you" policy. Personal relationships should be personal, professional relationships should be professional, and neither should affect the other.

Not to say that I'm devoid of sentiment. Of course I'll be offended at first if you tell it to my face. But I can get over it and really appreciate the fact that you came forward about it, rather than to keep it a secret.

I'm guessing that some, if not most of you go with the so-called "Asian" line of thought. I'll be perfectly clear that I'm not telling anyone to do things my way, nor am I claiming my way to be the right way. I'm just merely expressing my opinion. If you don't like it, it's perfectly fine; we just simply need to agree to disagree, because sometimes it's really impossible to ask others to see things your way. That's why it's important for me to try to at least understand where you're coming from, and respect where you stand, rather than make you do things my way.

Think about it.

Considerately,
-Zet

Posting paling gak penting (aka iseng2 nunggu dosen)

Haaiii... lagi di kelas nih kuliah, nunggu dosen.
ups dateng
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