Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Judgement Call (aka It's Nothing Personal)

Let's face it, we've all been judged before by others, be it by our parents, peers, teachers, colleagues, or even complete strangers. Heck, chances are we've done the same to others, consciously or not.

People judge others by the way they think, act, talk, heck even the way they look. This is especially true in a conservative society such as ours. (Opinions may differ, but I still count Indonesian society as EXTREMELY conservative) The sad reality of it is that how people judge you, how they see you through their personal spyglass of the world affects how they act towards you in general. This reaction ranges from the mild hesitation when getting acquainted to downright condescending behavior.

What's most concerning to me is that people take this attitude with them everywhere. I mean, they really take it to heart. It seems to me that most Indonesians are foreign to the concept of "not taking it personal". Once they make a negative judgement on someone, they only see that person in a negative light. Which, I suppose, is some sort of generalization.

Here are some of my personal experiences. I wear a bandanna almost everywhere I go. For some reason, the image of someone wearing a bandanna is tied to the gangster/mob/thug/what have you culture. Everywhere I go while wearing said bandanna, I get stared at cautiously by most people, curiously by some (especially kids). Then there's my tattoo. It's only one, and not that big, mind you, but my ex didn't like it, mostly because of the (old-fashioned, stupid, idiotic) association with gangs. Sure, gang members like to wear tattoos, but not every guy who has a tattoo is a gangster. Seriously now.
(On a side note, I'd like to thank my loving girlfriend for letting me be myself, tattoo and all. :D)

It seems that people have this predetermined concept of what's "right" and "wrong", and anything that's different by the slightest is enough call for caution. (you might want to refer to previous post "First Letter" as well)
Seriously now, just because you don't agree with how someone acts/looks, doesn't mean you have to force them to do as you want them to. Is it really that hard for people to "agree to disagree"?

Simple example: I'm an agnostic (google it if you don't know what that is), and most if not all of my friends are religious people. Naturally, we don't see eye-to-eye on that. With some of said friends, I've discussed the matter of religion (thankfully they're open-minded people, otherwise I'd be six feet under right now), and we see each other's point. No, we don't agree on it, but we understand what the other has to say, and respect that. And guess what? We get along perfectly fine. (This gives me an idea for a future post on atheism/agnosticism)

Again, people, try to understand what other people have to say, where they stand. You might not agree with them, but that doesn't mean you have to bitch on them either.

Thoughtfully yours,
-Zet

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Mind is A Powerful Thing (aka Nightmares and Dreamscapes, not by Stephen King)

And it really is. Something I've known for quite a while, but keep finding out in new ways.

"It's all in your head": Let's face it, people. Your brain controls everything. That means what's in your head will most likely affect the rest of your body. What you think affects how you feel (and I'm talking physically, not emotionally) and, obviously, act. Don't believe me? Here's something that happened to me once, back when I was still in 5th grade-ish.

My dad had scheduled me for a routine medical checkup, which included immunization shots. I've never been afraid of needles before. Heck, my mom even told me once that I laughed during one trip to the doctor (though I have no recollection of this at all). But for some reason, I started telling myself (and everyone else) oh no, not the needles again. Come to think of it now, I have no idea why I did that. That was like a month or two before getting the actual shot. Guess what? Come the actual shot, I actually was afraid, and did what every kid afraid of needles does: shut my eyes, clenched my fist and jaw, and started muttering. Much to the amusement of my father, if memory serves.

Guess that "mind over matter" thing really does have some truth in it.

Here's another thing I recently discovered/experienced: how you think and feel (this time I mean emotionally) affects your sleep. I'm guessing most or at least some people have experienced this as a child, and may even still experience it now; sweet dreams after a particularly good day, nightmares after watching a horror movie. Apparently your mood really carries on into your dreams.

Don't have much to say there, though. Haven't actually thought it through. XD

Here's the quote of the day: "If a relationship feels like too much work after the first month, it'll be 10 times harder after a year." - Unknown
This one especially goes to all you girls out there, because guys mostly don't "work on" relationships, do they? (myself included)

Until next time,
-Zet

Thursday, June 25, 2009

That Damn "Male Ego" Shit (aka Bathroom Thoughts)

Male Ego. You've heard about it all the time, and I'm guessing if you've actually bothered to read this far, you've been a victim in one way or another. Bear in mind that not EVERY guy is like this, and the main reason that I'm writing this is because of f*ckups that i've discovered in MYSELF.

As you can see from the title, this is something that just crossed my mind while I was in the shower. (Funny how that is, isn't it? Good ideas seem to hit me during the most unexpected moments. Watched something about it once on Discovery, but now I'm digressing again)

Anyway, the first thing that came to mind is how guys just seem to take their girlfriends/fiancees/wives for granted. I mean, these girls are really showing their love and affection for their man, and the guy feels that's just it. That it justifies them to stay with the girl, not really doing much for her in return. And you know what? Most of the time, the girl sticks around for a while longer.

Then there's the all-time favorite, the infamous "ego-boost". The most common form of this is the "ego-boost questions" or EBQ for short. Examples of which would be "Did you have fun?" (after a date), "How were things with your previous boyfriend?" and other questions regarding previous relationships, or even downright straightforward questions such as "How's my kissing?" or even "Am I good in bed?"
And each one of these times they're hoping to hear something good about themselves, or in the case of previous boyfriends, something bad about others, and usually the girl usually dutifully obliges. Kinda like the guy saying, "humor me" and the girl going, "okay"

Another thing is when a guy is told by his friends, "You're so lucky to be dating the hottest girl in class.", or "You're one lucky guy," while staring at said girlfriend's rack.
I mean, why can't he be lucky simply because she loves him? Because she accepts him for all his flaws? Why is it that the number one thing that he likes about her is her measurements, or how often kiss and/or fuck?

Why those things, instead of the way you can hear how much she loves him just by calling his name? Or the way she only has one dimple when she smiles? Or how when she cries, you can tell she's really upset by the way her lips tremble, or that she's angry when they're in a tight purse. How she repeats herself when she's angry and they're having an argument. How no matter what she does with her hair, there's always a stray lock that ends up on her forehead.

How she simply loves her guy, despite the fact that he misses all these things.

Well, that about covers today's rant. Thanks for reading.

Regards,
-Zet

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Today's News (aka I Need A New Computer)

I seriously need a new one. My current one's full of viruses and bugs and worms - basically everything you'd find in the corpse of a test subject for an evil pharmaceutical company. I guess that makes my computer something of a zombie. Heck, I'm even doing these posts on my sister/cousin's computer. Which by the way has much better specifications than my own.

So anyway, I'm thinking of scrapping my own comp and getting a new one. Not anytime soon, but hopefully soon enough.

In other news, I did a "concert" today, which I think I mentioned in the last post. Pretty funny, seeing the little kids from the vocal classes perform. They were like 6, 7, maybe 8 years old. Nuff said.

Which reminds me, I need a new cell phone, too. This one's literally fallen apart. So that, with the computer thing, means that I've got to save up for quite some time right now. Which isn't likely to happen, knowing me (Knowing you, *Aaah* There is nothing we can't do~)

Guess whose song that was, without googling it. Just for kicks, you won't get a prize anyway.

Until next time,
-Zet


***EDIT
forgot this:
Quote of the day: "Husbands are the back door through which secrets can creep out to the outside world" - Stephen King's Lisey's Story. Not sure I got it entirely right, though.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Random Update (aka "it's midnight and i've nothing better to do")

Well, it's not actually midnight, it's 11.50-ish. Same difference to me.
I've got to go to sleep actually, since I need to get up early tomorrow. I've got this concert/performance thing held by the place where I take bass lessons. They hold student concerts every now and then. Suppose you all know what I'm talking about.

But I really don't feel like sleeping. It's been a short day and I haven't seen enough of my girlfriend. Yeah, I'm kinda obsessed, so what.

Wow, looks like it's gonna be midnight when this gets posted after all. lol

Quote of the day: "The most boring people are the ones who think they're the most interesting" by my good friend Fiona Gracia.

Cheers,
-Zet

Friday, June 19, 2009

First post. (a.k.a. First Letter)

So here's a random thought: some people are extremely judgemental towars others who think, act, or simply are different from themselves, or from the so-called "norm." I'm sure somebody's talked about this before, so i guess it's just one of those things you just can't stop talking about.

I had this friend, a kid, few years younger than me. Call her Susan. or Mary. Heck, call her John, see if I care. She was 16, I think maybe 15, not sure. Like any healthy teen, she likes boys. Like any healthy teen, she has crushes. Like any healthy teen, said crushes change from time to time. She's in highschool, she wants to have a boyfriend, she's seen her sister enter and end relationships, it's only natural that she wants a taste, too, right?

Apparently not, in some of my friends' opinion. Coming from moderately conservative families, they don't really go in and out of relationships that often, i guess, and in their opinion, the way Susan (aka Mary, aka John) skips from crushing on one guy to the next is cheap. Real cheap. They start calling her names, talking behind her back, the usual stuff. I talked to one of them about it and got their side of the story, and when i told them that i'd like to hear Susan's (aka Mary aka John) side of the story, they insisted it was pointless, that i didn't have to do it, that she was evil by nature.

It really bugged me to no end (literally, it seems by this post), how they just judged her like that, without hearing her out, or even wanting to. And why? Simply because she acted different from them. Because she thought different from them. Because she was different from them. Because they couldn't understand her.

I guess it just goes to show that people shun out that which is different, and which they don't understand. Just like racism. Just like homosexuality. Just like religion.

People are different. Until each and every one of us learn to accept this, our world will always have conflict.

Regards and respect,
-Zet Valentine

P.S:
comments, opinions are welcome. Even a simple "dude, you're dumb." Remember, we may not always agree with others, but we can learn to respect their opinions.

First post. (a.k.a Introductions and All That)

After much consideration, i've finally done it. Started blogging. Kinda late, yeah but who cares. I've actually had the idea in my head for quite some time, just never got around to do it. Mostly because I was worried I'd abandon it and stop posting after a short time. It might still happen anyway, but heck.

For those of you who know me and/or actually care about me, you might read this to wonder what I'm up to. For those of you who don't, feel free to laugh with me, or at me. For all of you, here's some possible things I might yap about in the future:
1. Random comments and thoughts. that's what NiP, EiG stands for: Nothing in Particular, Everything in General.
2. Short stories. I like to think of myself as a writer, but haven't done much of it lately, so yeah. Might publish a couple here for comments/input.
3. Things that you think would be fun/interesting/entertaining/just plain amusing for me to talk about. Just leave a comment on a previous blog post (preferably the newest). :D
4. Random shite about my life. Random BORING shite about my life. Which you probably might not want to read. lol

Suppose that's it for the introductions. First REAL post coming up in a few.

-Zet