Wishlist (for this year and the next one)

I'm pretty forgetful, so I decidedc to post my wishlist now, while I still remember them. It's likely to not change much next year either. Most of the stuff here are waaaay out of my league, and I'd feel bad if anyone got them for me.

• a pair (or several pairs) of socks
  
• Tekken 6
  
• a new pair of jeans
  
• Rock Band (any incarnation, preferably the newer ones)
• Guitar Hero 5
• A new bridge saddle for my bass
• that shirt I saw the other day at TA
• a new bandanna
• Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 2 (PS3 or PC)
• Under the Dome by Stephen King
• Paulo Coelho's The Winner Stands Alone
• A small bookshelf for my room
• Electronic setup to record bass into my laptop
• that life-size guitar for Guitar Hero/Rock Band
• A pair of plain black-white sneakers
  

Guess that's about it. It's a really wants vs. needs kinda thing.

Out of Pure Boredom (aka Follow the Girlfriend)

Well, I've got nothing to do here at my boarding house or whatever you call it, so I decided to follow what my girlfriend did and make a list of my 25 random thoughts and post them. Here they are:

1. Gw gak yakin gw bisa bertahan ngekos terus
   
2. I'm even less sure that I can live on my own in an apartment
3. Tomorrow's my first anniversary with my girlfriend!
4. I wish I didn't have a quiz tomorrow so I could hang out with her all day
5. Jarang-jarang nih sinyal lagi bagus.
6. Gw ngerasa masih belum berhasil sebagai pacar
7. Cowok mana sih gak bisa dijadiin tempat curhat ama ceweknya?
8. Nggak, bukan macam yang terbaik
9. Hahah, knapa gw jadi negatif ya?
10. Karakter HIMJA kan positif.
11. Yey dia sms!
12. My back hurts
13. I need to go to the spine center thingy
14. And the dentist
15. Unexpectedly, I miss my sister
16. I'll deny it wholeheartedly if anyone asks.
17. I need a haircut
18. Did I tell you tomorrow's my first anniversary?
19. I suddenly wish I could afford a fancy dinner
20. I miss playing the bass
21. Should I take vocal lessons as well?
22. Or maybe guitar lessons?
23. Am I trying to start a one-man band?
24. For some reason, they had a sale on condoms at Alfa mart last week, a pack for 9.900
25. ASTROBOY!! XD

Cheerio.
-Zet

Change of Plans (aka Just for the Sake of Posting)

Well, I've been meaning to post something new for a while now, but with crappy connection, I've not been able to do so. Even now I'm hoping I can get this posted.

Anyway, since I can't post something proper, how about a song? Lyrics that is. If you want the song, google it, or check it on youtube. Look for the broadway recording, if you can.
It's a duet from the Broadway musical Aida, the names before the verses are the characters' names.

Written in the Stars
from the Broadway musical Aida

Aida:
I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well

Radames:
Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
For some God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Aida (spoken):
Marry the princess, Radames...

Aida:
Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide

Radames:
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned

Aida & Radames:
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

Aida:
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

Aida & Radames:
For some God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Pretty good song for those of you who feel like victims of fate, eh?
-Zet

P.S.
no tag for once, too.

Culture Shock (aka Face Value)

One of my teachers (professors, lecturers, whatever) recently mentioned in class some cultural differences between the Japanese (and most Asian countries) and the West. One that particularly caught my interest was the way westerners are quite straightforward, while most Asians work their way around criticism.

Afterwards, a friend of mine mentioned her discomfort at how another friend of ours liked to hug, poke, and do other things that would get her (the other friend) killed if she (still the other friend) did it to me. I told her that if she doesn't like it, then just say it. Her response: "gak enak", as in she didn't want to offend her. Which led me to ask, "WHY?"
Because she didn't want to offend her. Because she didn't want to offend her. Because she was still considering her (again, the other friend's) feelings.

Right. So it's okay for HER to poke, hug, tickle, and otherwise ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF you, but you don't want to tell her because you're afraid you'll hurt HER feelings? Suit yourself.

In any case, I told her (and yet another friend who was there listening) that if they had something they held against me, they had better tell it to my face rather than talk about it behind my back. That was, after all, what we were doing, albeit unwittingly. What kind of friendship would last if bast on such a lie, anyway?

But seriously now, our people seem to be obsessed with so-called "formalities"; if you do something to offend someone, they could hold it against you forever. Truth be told, I really don't understand that line of thought. Personally, I prefer the "I may not like you, but that doesn't mean I can't work with you" policy. Personal relationships should be personal, professional relationships should be professional, and neither should affect the other.

Not to say that I'm devoid of sentiment. Of course I'll be offended at first if you tell it to my face. But I can get over it and really appreciate the fact that you came forward about it, rather than to keep it a secret.

I'm guessing that some, if not most of you go with the so-called "Asian" line of thought. I'll be perfectly clear that I'm not telling anyone to do things my way, nor am I claiming my way to be the right way. I'm just merely expressing my opinion. If you don't like it, it's perfectly fine; we just simply need to agree to disagree, because sometimes it's really impossible to ask others to see things your way. That's why it's important for me to try to at least understand where you're coming from, and respect where you stand, rather than make you do things my way.

Think about it.

Considerately,
-Zet

Posting paling gak penting (aka iseng2 nunggu dosen)

Haaiii... lagi di kelas nih kuliah, nunggu dosen.
ups dateng
daa

Demographics and Such (aka Life in the Time of Lebaran)

You know, it's funny how once every year, Jakarta empties up so much, it's almost dead. I mean there's virtually no traffic at all. Nor much of anything else for that matter. That tells us two things:

1. Most of Jakarta's residents are from out of town,
2. Jakarta is the only city in Indonesia. Or at least that's what the general populace thinks.

Then again, I haven't been around this country much, so I can't quite speak for other cities. But still, think about it. Whenever people want to do anything, work, education, etc. they look to Jakarta. Sure, that's no problem. The people can think of things however they want. The problem is when the government starts seeing things that way as well.

Why do I say this? Well for starters, somebody please tell me 20 other cities in Indonesia that has the same amount of skyscrapers as Jakarta. No, I'm not being sarcastic, I'm being curious. I've not seen much other places that has skyscrapers in Indonesia.

Still on the topic of urban development, how about that Busway thing? Have it anywhere else, besides Jakarta/Jabodetabek?

Oh, and don't forget that upcoming monorail project. Where's it being built? Jakarta and... no wait, just Jakarta? Hopefully not.

And what about that annoying commercial of a guy dropping all his stuff at the airport? What's the tag for that one? "visit JAKARTA" or something to that effect, right?

How about movies? Check your local movie website. Compare the movies playing in Jabodetabek to the other cities there. Go ahead, have a laugh. They're still playing movies we watched months ago.

Chrissake, people, how can we expect this country to grow, if the only city we focus on growing is Jakarta? No, I'm not saying that we aren't doing anything about other cities, I'm just saying it's not as good an effort.
Seriously now, we're a big country. The f*ckin biggest in southeast Asia. There are plenty of other places to develop, you know? Just because Jakarta is the capital city doesn't mean it has to be the ONLY city. Once you focus too much on one city, you leave the rest up for grabs. Just like our so-called "culture-war" with Malaysia. I hate them for what they did, but I gotta hand it to them, they're smart.

Bottom line, development in areas other than Jakarta would mean better growth nationally, and it'll help prevent shit like that happening again.

More on Time (aka Memory Lane)

Nostalgia is a very unique feeling, don't you think? No, rather, time, and our perception of it, is something very unique. I mean, time can be fast or slow, depending on how we look at things. Of all things, I think the fabric of time is the most abstract.

The other day, I went to my old school (feels funny, calling it that. I've only graduated for a few months), using the same road I've always used. It's funny, how it felt like I hadn't used that road for a very long time, when in fact it had only been a few months, and the emotions I felt as I passed through it.
It felt strange, as if so much had changed in my life in a short amount of time, and yet that stretch of road still remained the same. I felt a sense of longing, and loss; a stretch of road that had been a part of my life for so long, and that day would possibly be the last time I passed through it. I started to imagine myself, 10 years from now, passing through that road again, imagining how it would feel.

Maybe I just have an over-active imagination, but that wasn't the first time my mind has wandered off like that. Once, I was just walking to the mall, a few blocks from my house. It was a nice day, clear, not too hot, a cold breeze blowing. I just looked around as I walked, taking in my surroundings, then in my mind it was like I saw the town's development, from a patch of land, urban development, the first houses, etc., and all this happened within a few seconds.

Another time, I was at my girlfriend's house. She has this stuffed toy that she told me she's had since she was a baby. She showed me the toy - which I gotta say must have seen better days - and thought it was really nice that she was able to keep something for so long - if it was me, I would've lost it ages ago.
Anyway, I took the toy in my hands, and I looked at it. That's all I did. Carefully. Like an archaeologist would study ancient symbols, I gazed into the toy, trying to unlock its stories. Then, a single sentence crossed through my head, one that every historian asks when stumbling upon an artifact:

"What is your story?"

Almost at once I could see - no, sense everything that toy has been through, without actually knowing what. It was almost as if all that time had been imprinted in that toy, almost waiting to be seen.

Looking back on these things, it makes me feel like the thing we know as "memory" may not simply be something that belongs to us living creatures. Maybe memory is something that we share with everything, and everyone else. Maybe memory is something that belongs to the Universe itself.
After all, aren't our memories what make us who we are? And what are we, if not part of this universe?

Imaginatively yours,
-Zet

P.S:
My other thoughts on memory:

- What if that "genetic memory" thing from Assassin's Creed (a video game) is real?
- Maybe what we think of as "past lives" are actually a form of ancestral/genetic memory.

First Week of College (aka Late Adjustments)

Yep, I just finished my first week of college life, which is unfair to some of you, my friends, I know, but hey, I don't set the dates. Anyway, I'm totally exhausted right now, largely due to the fact that I still haven't fully adjusted to the pace of college life. I went to my friend's place yesterday, and his mom said that I lost weight! For those of you who know me, if it's true then it's a scary thing indeed.
Funny feeling, having the freedom to set your own schedule. Fun, and at the same time it's scary, because one slip and it's practically over.

I could bore you all by sharing what I've been doing the past week, but I won't. Instead, I'll bore you by telling you the things that I need to get done:

1. Get my toilet fixed. It's somewhat faulty, the water won't stop running after I flush it.
2. Do something about the extra laundry. My, erh.. boarding house? (dunno the english word for "rumah kos") does laundry for 1 outfit per day, any more than that we'll have to figure out for ourselves.
3. Sationery. Probably the most vital thing any student from any level would need, and I forgot it.
4. Food. There aren't any decent places to eat around my place. Seriously. There are some, sure, but I'll have to walk like 10 minutes to get there.
5. Time management. Something that I've never been good at so far, but I'll have to be capable of now. I'm taking a few clubs and extra-curricular activities, so I'm hoping to "learn by doing" so to speak. *crosses fingers*
6. Assignments. Yep, just because college started later for me than you guys, doesn't mean I have less assignments. (The quality/difficulty of the assignments, though, I can't say)

Funny thing, ever since college started I feel that I've gotten slightly better at small talk/socializing. That means I've gone from "MUTE" to "Talking, almost". It's a small step, sure, but it's still something to be proud of, isn't it?

Well, I think there's still more nonsense to talk about, but I'm too tired to talk about it. Bedtime for me. See ya.

Regards,
-Zet

In Need of Help (aka FreeFalling)

You've all felt it before, right? Sudden changes of mood, switching back and forth, or even around and round between moods? If you have, chances are you've felt what I'm feeling now: stuck in a sudden wave of negative emotions.

I've been feeling this way since yesterday, and I've actually been this way before, but I have to say that this is the worst it's ever been. I need help, but there's nobody to give it. Or maybe it's just that nobody who notices it.

Time Incandescent (aka Happy September)

First of all, do not ask me what "time incandescent" means. It's just one of those random phrases that fly into my head. Occasionally, these random phrases turn into stories or poems. Sometimes they just end up as a title to a song that's forming in my head (currently a pop-rock melody, somewhat upbeat, actually have a guitar lick in mind, only problem is my inability to play the electric guitar). Sometimes, as today, they end up as the title of a blog post.

Anyway, I switched on my cell phone today, and the small text on top of the screen read, "Tu 09-01-2009," and it dawned on me that it's already september. In two months it'll be my first anniversary with Sandra, which is a big thing for me, seeing that I've only been in 2-3 relationships before, the longest of which lasted a little over 8 months.

It's funny to think "it's already a year," but feel "it's only been a year?" at the same time. It's only been a year, but I feel like we've been together for much longer than that. It's like everything that happened before we were together took place in a different, distant place and time.

Which got me thinking, we've all heard about it before, people "marking" points in their lives where something big happened, and everything that happened before that event feels like a lifetime away. It's almost like reading a book, where the events of the one chapter an the next are connected, but span many pages.

I dunno, maybe it's just because I'm still young, maybe it's because I've not much experience in love that I feel like this. But I gotta tell ya, it's a pretty good feeling, one that motivates me to keep going at it in the years to come.

Youthfully naive,
-Zet

Quote of the day:
"Nobody gives it to you; you have to take it." - Jack Nicholson as Francis "Frank" Costello in The Departed

Laptop Baru (aka Noraknya diriku punya maenan baru!)

Yap, akhirnya setelah sekian lama, gw punya laptop. Selama ini gak gitu butuh karena bisa minjem, tapi berhubung minggu depan ud kuliah, uda saatnya punya laptop sendiri.
Dari semalem gw uda keranjingan maen2in ni laptop, mengupdate isinya, ngetes internet, dst.

Lumayan banget ni sekarang, kalo dapet ide cerita bisa langsung tulis, gak usah kayak dulu, catet dulu sedikit di hp ato kertas catetan dst, takut kelupaan. Heheh.

Skarang lagi di jln ke rumah pacar tercinta :D Kalo dia masih tidur, gw tungguin. Klo udah bangun, gw mo minta sarapan. Bangun telat, jadi gak sempet sarapan gw tadi. Sekarang aja uda laper.

Wah McD pondok indah. Drive thru? Males ah.

Dah dulu ah, laper. Nanti gw balik dengan post lebih bermakna. Kebetulan giorby baru menginspirasi gw dari shoutbox. Heheh.

Ja na.
-Zet

Our Strongest Points Are Our Weakest (aka Quote of the Day)

Taken from Paulo Coelho's "The Pilgrimage", with slight change. A bit of a paradox, some of you might say, but if you've read the book, you'll at least understand what he's getting at.

It's kinda hard to explain, so maybe an example will help.

Take me, for instance. I like to call myself a writer. I love writing, and truthfully, I think I'm pretty good at it. Sports, on the other hand, I'm not very good at. You could say it's my weakness. That being the case, I work hard to cover it - being a guy, I don't want to face the humiliation of being bad at sports. So I train myself, try out different sports until I can do it.
In any case, when people criticize or comment on me for not being good at sports, I just shrug them off, because it's a fact I already know. But once someone criticizes my writing, on the other hand, I become hurt, lose my self confidence. In other words, I react more to my "strong point" being attacked than my "weak point".

If that example didn't illustrate it well enough, get yourself a copy of "The Pilgrimage". It does a much better job, believe me.

My point (I think) is that so often we take too much pride in ourselves, in our abilities, and fear too much for our weaknesses, that we forget that we're not perfect. There's always something or someone better. Once we become too confident that we're "good enough", we feel that we've lost everything when we realize that somebody is better. I suppose that's where they coined the phrase "Pride comes before the fall" from.

This is why people such as athletes, musicians, etc, never claim that they're the best (the good ones, at least); they have this sense of humility. They take the praise and criticism, and use it to push themselves forward. They never stop trying to be better.
It's because of this, that when I hear someone say to me, "I'm really good at..." I'd have my doubts, compared to someone who says, "I can do.... but I'm not that good."; the one who says they're good might actually be good, but that also means that they're not trying to be any better. The second person could also be good, but then again could also suck. But the important thing is, that they realize that they could be better/there's someone better than themselves.

In simple terms, 1st person= arrogant, 2nd person= humble. Guess who's more likable.


You know, for some reason I think that same pride is the reason why people don't like psychiatrists, psychologists, psychoanalysts of any kind: they don't want to hear that someone else knows more about themselves than they do. I don't know about you, but I'm ready enough to admit that I don't want to have someone tell me what kind of person I am, especially if they're right. I (and maybe most of the world) would like to think that the person who knows most about me is myself.

But I digress. Back to the point, when we think we're ready, or capable, or good enough, is actually showing that we aren't. Now I'm not asking you to think that you're all dumb, no. I am asking you (and myself), to look at ourselves, look at both the things we think we're good at, and the things we aren't, and ask ourselves: Can I do better?

Think about it.
-Zet

P.S:
I think I found a new motto. XD

More Randomness (aka. ..... Randomness XD)

Of the unimportant things to talk about here (and I do mean unimportant), there is quite a bit to talk about, so let's just start from the most recent stuff, then work my way back to things I can remember. Which means order will be totally random, at best.

Just saw Miss Universe thing at Sandra's home. Had a good laugh, the usual thing with a guy seeing ridiculously beautiful outfits. Yes, I admit they're beautiful outfits, just think some of them are ridiculous, that's all. Like this one finalist who I think made it to the top five, had a hair that looked like a beehive. Well, Sandra said it looked like a beehive, I said it looked like some kind of molding for a clay pot.
Now that I mention it, maybe that's how they styled her hair, by putting a pot around it. XD

College classes schedule is already out. I consider myself very lucky: my only free day is Tuesday, when I have classes it's only for 2 shifts. Plenty of free time. My mom said that means plenty of time to study, but we know that's not really likely to happen, is it? ;D

The Sims 3. I finally decided to buy and install it, here on my cousin's comp. Funny thing happened the other day when I was playing. I had one pregnant Sim in the household, and I had no idea when the baby would be born. So I made the Sim go to the Diner for food, since she had crappy cooking ability then, and I was just too lazy to make her cook. So she drove to the diner. I sped up the in-game time, then this popup message appeared, announcing that the baby was about to be born, and that I should make sure that the Sim was at home or in a hospital.

I checked the map, and the hospital was just down the street from the diner, so I clicked it, and selected "Have baby at Hospital". Then the most hilarious (in my opinion) and shocking thing happened: my Sim ran towards the hospital. That's right, she was due right then and there to have the baby, and if she couldn't drive you'd think she'd have enough sense to at least get a cab, but no. She ran.

Really, I don't know why I find that so amusing, but I just do. You'd have to see it, perhaps, to see what's funny. XD

Family Gatherings and Such (aka Bored (and tired) Shitless)

So, just got home from this random family gathering today. Well, actually, I'm not home from the gathering itself, but from Sandra's house, which is where we (Sandra and I) went after said family gathering.
Yep, that's right, I dragged my girlfriend to a family gathering. In which most of said family I do not know. She took it really well, bless her. I don't think I could do that well if I went to her family gathering (not that I wouldn't try, though :D)

Anyway, the occasion for the gathering was some soft launching for some family tree book of some ancestor of ours. Apparently said ancestor was some important person back home. And by home, I mean Manado, which I've never actually been to btw.

After the random and not-quite-boring gathering, we decided to go to Pasaraya, which both of us haven't gone to in a loong time. (Random Gathering location was right next door to Pasaraya) We ended up randomly going up and down the place, first looking for food, then for the theatre.
We both agreed that quite a bit has changed since we last visited the place (separately. we didn't know each other yet). We ended up contemplating whether or not the place had always been like that, because the last time she was there, she didn't remember there being a C Building or a theater, whilst I vaguely remember the going to the theater once before, almost watching something but deciding against it because the tickets were expensive.

Well, anyway we ended up not watching anything (might regret that later, you never know when a movie's gonna run out), and heading off to her home for a little rest, dinner, playing with her DS and laptop. Business as usual, in other words. Which brings us here, home sweet home.

Well, I suppose that's it for today's post. Catch you later.

-Zet

Just A Little Thought (aka Not Too Patriotic)

I kinda just realized it's the 17th of August today. Feels kinda strange without school to remind you by means of flag ceremony + games.
I heard they're making a national history movie for once. I actually think that's a good thing, and for once I'm actually interested in watching it. Good to see that at this day and age some people are still trying to respect what our forefathers did for us now. As for me, I'm just trying to live it out while trying not to make a mess of things.

Today's exactly 9 months and 10 days of my current relationship. So far as I can tell, we have a long road ahead of us. :D
It's funny to think that this far in my previous relationship, I'd already considered breaking up at least 3 different times. With Sandra, it's never even crossed my mind. Suppose that goes to show that you can love someone all you want, but if you're not compatible, then you're not compatible.

Cheers to you, Love. :D

The Things You Do for Love (aka I'm Back Home Again)

Well, I'm back home again, after another short stay at the hospital. Honestly, a few more years and I'll be familiar with the staff.

Anyway, here's something that crossed my mind once: you always want to do something for the person you love. Be it out of love itself, or fear of losing that love, it's like you're compelled to do something. You know something's wrong in a relationship when one or both sides aren't feeling compelled to do anything.

I've let this thought sit for a while in my mind, so it's kinda hard to put forward clearly.

The reason that this crossed my mind in the first place is because of this friend of mine. She was talking to me about one of her exes once, and told me how he never really did anything for her. Sure, he gave her gifts for her birthday and the usual holidays, but aside from that, he didn't really do anything to show her how he felt. Never told her or actually really showed her if she really meant anything to him at all. Needless to say, the relationship ended shortly afterward.

What I can't understand is why something like that could happen. Quite frankly I was baffled. But then I thought "why is it baffling?", and that's when it came to me: People do things for the ones they love. There's something wrong when you don't feel that pull to do something.

I can't claim to know why that is, but I know for sure that it is. It's been that way in every relationship, hasn't it? From the start, when you do things to impress them, to the very end where you do things to keep them happy.

You know what, I've got this weird headache, maybe because I haven't used my head in a while, and it's preventing me from writing a half-decent post. Keep an eye out for more posts on this subject. Next one might be more coherent. XD

-Zet

Home At Last (aka Letter #15)

After a long (and I do mean LONG) week, I'm finally back home. Where've I been, you ask? College orientation week. 6 days of doing absolutely nothing but sitting down in a classroom with 60 other people (give or take) listening to lectures and talks about the Do's and Don't's of college life. My butt's still kinda sore from all that sitting.

To boot, I think I'm down with a bad case of the flu. Slight fever, aching joints & muscles, sore throat, classic flu symptoms, right? Already went to the doctor, got some meds, should last for a few days. I'm feeling better already, though only slightly.

To count my blessings, though, I only caught it yesterday, which was AFTER orientation week. Sandra caught it during the last two days. She managed to make it through, of course, and I'm so very proud of her for that. :D Girl, you rock my world.

Will post more meaningful things after I'm healthy.

Regards,
-Zet

Poem: The Backward-Looking Window

Yep, just for the sake of posting, I decided to give you a poem. Just made it, it's been at the back of my head for some time now, though. Don't be too harsh, I haven't done poetry in quite some time.
Oh, and please leave comments on its deviantART page. Don't have an account? Sign up, it's free. (promotion much? XD)

The Backward-Looking Window

Through the Backward-Looking Window I
look with eyes shut tight I
see images clear, distorted

From without I see outside
From within I see inside
Through the Backward-Looking Window

With legs locked still I
move, with eyes unopened I
peer the Backward-Looking Window

Through lidded eyes I see
people, objects
Time, forgotten.

With arms unmoving
I reach,
I grasp

The Window shatters.

PlayStation emulators! (aka Nostalgic Fun)

Yep, I downloaded an emulation program to play PS games on my comp. Well, my cousin's comp, actually. Think it was because I was playing MGS3: Subsistence, which had ports for the original MSX Metal Gear games (Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake). That made me interested in trying out the first Metal Gear Solid game, which was for the PSX. Which I don't have anymore. So I googled emulators and related info.

Found one, ePSXe, pretty decent, needed to set things up first though, which was a handful. Isn't it troublesome playing PS games with the keyboard, you might wonder. Well, fortunately, I have a PS3, and the wireless controller comes with a USB cable to charge its batteries, so I thought I'd google again and see if I can use it on emulators. Turns out I can. :D

So lately I've been playing old games that I liked and remembered, like Spyro, MegaMan Legends, Harvest Moon, and obviously Metal Gear Solid.

It's been really fun, not to mention nostalgic, playing these games. It makes me realize that it's really the original games that were so easy to get hooked on. Compared to current games, they're relatively short to play, and obviously have inferior graphics, but the games are really engaging, and fun to play. It's kind of hard to find games like those nowadays, games that really get you hooked to the characters, the story, while at the same time being fun to play.

Well, anyway, if any of you are interested (and your computer or laptop is up for it), go ahead and give it a go. You might find a better emulator out there too, if you want. :D

-Zet

Just some comments (aka hopefully a short one)

No in-depth discussion today, people, sorry. Just a few things that crossed my mind today.

1. Birthdays.
Why is it, that when someone is celebrating their birthday, they're the ones who have to treat their friends to food, movies, etc.? I mean, it's their birthday, shouldn't they be the ones who get treated to stuff?

2. This article on yahoo. Isn't it just so sweet? Guess stuff like that doesn't only happen in movies. :) Kinda makes me wanna write a story.

3. The bombings last Friday. Tragic. Very tragic. What's even more tragic is what's gonna happen next: increased security at malls. No, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, I'm just saying that our country's penchance for increasing security AFTER terrorist attacks is kind of.. well, sad. Not that it's an easy job, but still. You know.

Lastly, I'm officially asking you, reader, to give me something to think and/or talk about. I'm running out of interesting ideas here.

Much obliged,
-Zet

blog.. blog.. blog.. (aka it's been a week)

It's been a week since my last update, aand, i've got nothing to say today. Well, nothing important, that is. XD
Truth be told, i don't remember much about what's happened in the past week. Sometime in the last 7 days i watched Inkheart with my girlfriend, Sandra. I think we spotted something funny after the movie, but for the life of me i can't remember what.

Oh, I bought the Blu-Ray for Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete that day, too. Well worth the wait and cost, which might push back some of my other expenses. *shrug* Win some, lose some.

I hear school's back in. Might have to go back there some time next week for the paperwork. Preferably with my girlfriend. We've been spending most of the holiday together (me visiting her place, vice versa out of fairness) just messing around, watching the Friends dvd, playing games on her DS, her avoiding my PS3.. man, i have got to get something she can play too.

I can't go over to her place today, got bass lessons this afternoon. She's got stuff to do as well, so in other words, we're not seeing each other today. XD

(switching languages for once) Sebagai gantinya:
Perkenalkan Lope. si boneka beruang nan lucu yg gw beliin dlm rangka 1 bulan jadian. :D Ceritanya lope adalah anak kami, dan sesekali dia 'menginap' di rumah gw. hahah. lope loh yg ketik judul blog ini. XD
Lucu? Swt? peduli amat, daripada bengong d rmh. :P besides, it's good parenting practice.

I don't think i've nothing more to say. XD
See ya!
-Zet

Previous QotD (aka Pathogenic Humanity)

Last post's Quote of the Day was something that I had really connected with when I first read/heard it. There are a lot of other memorable and (in my opinion) significant quotes from the Metal Gear series, but this one in particular was one that I could really connect with.

Why? because it was how I saw the world. No, maybe that's going overboard. It's more like it was how I thought about things in general, and what I try to be and do in life.

I mean, think about it. Most of the problems we have now is because people try to change the world, instead of leave it the way it is. And for those of you who think that we shouldn't just change the world, but make it better, I respectfully disagree. Trying to make the world better is no different from changing it. Besides, let's face it "better" is a very loose and relative term. You don't need me to tell you this, but my "better" and yours may not be the same. Besides, look at wars and conflicts (and some other points) in the past; I'm no good at history, so I'll just mention the obvious ones.

Do you think that Hitler thought he was doing an evil thing when he tried to eradicate Jews? Or the Popes who ordered the Crusades on Jerusalem? Or the industrial revolution, which I view as the starting point for pollution, over-exploitation, and every other environmental issue?

No, these people thought that they were doing the world a favor. They thought that what they were doing was the right thing. They thought they were making the world better.

Still not convinced? Here's you're Quote of the Day:

"I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with their surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to another area, and you multiply, and you multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet."

-Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith, from The Matrix

Again, think about it. Imagine some place on earth where humans haven't yet inhabited. There's an ecosystem; plants, animals, predators, a river, maybe a volcano, whatever you want. Ideally, the food chain would be balanced; plants are eaten by plant-eaters, which are in turn eaten by meat-eaters, which are eaten by... well, bigger meat-eaters.

From what little I've picked up on nature documentaries, carnivores are usually naturally careful about their prey. Eat too much, food runs out. Same goes for the herbivores.
In short, imagine a place where it really is "survival of the fittest"

Say a disease comes along, infects one species. Disease spreads, many die, but said disease has no more hosts. Eventually some other species comes along, reinhabits, end of story.

Now, advances in medical technology may have cured many (and I mean many) diseases, but you could say that it's also accelerated the "evolutionary arms race" against viruses and bacteria. The above scenario is totally ideal, and I think isn't very likely to happen anywhere, even without humans. But the fact that the disease (let's say it was caused by a virus) would run out of hosts and eventually die out is - well, also unlikely, but at least it's plausible. Back on topic, advances in medical technology also causes viruses and bacteria to adapt to the antibodies more quickly than it would "naturally" (i.e. the above "ideal scenario)

I'd say more, but if you've actually bothered to read this far, I'm guessing you're more than capable of thinking up scenarios where the world would be better without humans, so I'm gonna end this post abruptly (for a second there it crossed my mind to just hit "publish" right there) with a final note that I'm not suggesting that we go back to the way things were and live in the dark ages. Please, as idealistic as I sometimes may be, even I don't want that to happen. I'm just saying, let's think about just living life the way it is right now, not changing too much of the world.

Think about it.
-Zet

Sleepy Thoughts (aka "Female Ego?")

So I read this article a couple of weeks ago, can't remember when or where, about relationships, and how ego gets in the way of a good relationship. The way it was written implied that said 'ego' isn't only on the male half of the couple, but the female as well.

Now to be perfectly honest with you all, this was quite something new, because I never thought of it like that before. But then it did make perfect sense; after all, those people smarter than myself who classified the psyche with the "ego, superego, and id" didn't apply it strictly to guys.

Anyway, the article crossed my mind again as I was about to sleep last night, and that got me thinking (which is kinda hard to do when you're sleepy, in case you didn't know) about this so-called "female ego" - if there is such a thing. What am I talking about? There is such a thing, but I don't think it's a fundamental flaw like guys have. The only way for me to explain this would be through an example.

Okay, so say that there's a girl, and maybe she has a job, or is looking for one, a specific type of work that she's good at, or just plain interested in. She applies. Her boyfriend comes along and tries to offer an alternative to that work, maybe something closer to home, or nearer to the route he/they usually take day-to-day, something that (he thinks) is more practical. But she doesn't want to, no. She's pretty satisfied with the job she's already got, which he can't quite understand, so he keeps pestering her to take the other job. They get into an argument, with him saying that she complicates things, while she says that he's limiting her space/freedom of choice.

Now, in this case, whose ego really got the fight started? The guy? No, he isn't thinking about his self (his ego), he's just trying to offer alternatives. No, I think it's the girl's ego is what got in the way. He offers something else to do, and what she does is think that he's closing her space. While in fact he isn't trying to limit her, he just can't understand why she doesn't go with something that he thinks is more practical. Which makes his fault being stupid. I mean insanely stupid. Seriously now, if you girl doesn't want what you suggest, don't force it. That goes the other way too, and not just between couples.
Back on track, it's the girl's ego that started the mess; all she could think about was how he was crushing her space, forcing her to do things she didn't want to, locking her in. When he was only trying to help.

Seriously folks, they're both to blame here. But ego-wise, I think it's the girl's ego that got in the way.

Thoughtfully,
-Zet

Quote of the Day:

"It's not about changing the world, it's about doing our best to leave the world the way it is. It's about respecting the will of others, and believing in your own."
-- Big Boss, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots


P.S
I'd add another example, but as I was typing, it occurred to me that it's actually happened to me. Better not wash one's linen in public, eh?
Since I'm likely to get flamed for this, leave any comments in the Comments section, and not the shoutbox please.

One Long Day (aka Just for the Sake of Posting)

It's been quite a long day for me, despite the fact that I got up around half past ten this morning. Funny thing how some days seem to pass longer than others.
Things I've been up to today:
1. Watching LotR: Return of the King. The extended edition, which lasted well over 3 hours. Quite fun.
2. Playing video games on the computer and PlayStation. Not much to be said there.
3. Continuing writing this short story I've been writing. I call it short, but it's already 6 pages long.
4. Text messaging with my girlfriend.

And that's about it. I'm so bored I don't even know what to write. XD

-Zet

The Judgement Call (aka It's Nothing Personal)

Let's face it, we've all been judged before by others, be it by our parents, peers, teachers, colleagues, or even complete strangers. Heck, chances are we've done the same to others, consciously or not.

People judge others by the way they think, act, talk, heck even the way they look. This is especially true in a conservative society such as ours. (Opinions may differ, but I still count Indonesian society as EXTREMELY conservative) The sad reality of it is that how people judge you, how they see you through their personal spyglass of the world affects how they act towards you in general. This reaction ranges from the mild hesitation when getting acquainted to downright condescending behavior.

What's most concerning to me is that people take this attitude with them everywhere. I mean, they really take it to heart. It seems to me that most Indonesians are foreign to the concept of "not taking it personal". Once they make a negative judgement on someone, they only see that person in a negative light. Which, I suppose, is some sort of generalization.

Here are some of my personal experiences. I wear a bandanna almost everywhere I go. For some reason, the image of someone wearing a bandanna is tied to the gangster/mob/thug/what have you culture. Everywhere I go while wearing said bandanna, I get stared at cautiously by most people, curiously by some (especially kids). Then there's my tattoo. It's only one, and not that big, mind you, but my ex didn't like it, mostly because of the (old-fashioned, stupid, idiotic) association with gangs. Sure, gang members like to wear tattoos, but not every guy who has a tattoo is a gangster. Seriously now.
(On a side note, I'd like to thank my loving girlfriend for letting me be myself, tattoo and all. :D)

It seems that people have this predetermined concept of what's "right" and "wrong", and anything that's different by the slightest is enough call for caution. (you might want to refer to previous post "First Letter" as well)
Seriously now, just because you don't agree with how someone acts/looks, doesn't mean you have to force them to do as you want them to. Is it really that hard for people to "agree to disagree"?

Simple example: I'm an agnostic (google it if you don't know what that is), and most if not all of my friends are religious people. Naturally, we don't see eye-to-eye on that. With some of said friends, I've discussed the matter of religion (thankfully they're open-minded people, otherwise I'd be six feet under right now), and we see each other's point. No, we don't agree on it, but we understand what the other has to say, and respect that. And guess what? We get along perfectly fine. (This gives me an idea for a future post on atheism/agnosticism)

Again, people, try to understand what other people have to say, where they stand. You might not agree with them, but that doesn't mean you have to bitch on them either.

Thoughtfully yours,
-Zet

The Mind is A Powerful Thing (aka Nightmares and Dreamscapes, not by Stephen King)

And it really is. Something I've known for quite a while, but keep finding out in new ways.

"It's all in your head": Let's face it, people. Your brain controls everything. That means what's in your head will most likely affect the rest of your body. What you think affects how you feel (and I'm talking physically, not emotionally) and, obviously, act. Don't believe me? Here's something that happened to me once, back when I was still in 5th grade-ish.

My dad had scheduled me for a routine medical checkup, which included immunization shots. I've never been afraid of needles before. Heck, my mom even told me once that I laughed during one trip to the doctor (though I have no recollection of this at all). But for some reason, I started telling myself (and everyone else) oh no, not the needles again. Come to think of it now, I have no idea why I did that. That was like a month or two before getting the actual shot. Guess what? Come the actual shot, I actually was afraid, and did what every kid afraid of needles does: shut my eyes, clenched my fist and jaw, and started muttering. Much to the amusement of my father, if memory serves.

Guess that "mind over matter" thing really does have some truth in it.

Here's another thing I recently discovered/experienced: how you think and feel (this time I mean emotionally) affects your sleep. I'm guessing most or at least some people have experienced this as a child, and may even still experience it now; sweet dreams after a particularly good day, nightmares after watching a horror movie. Apparently your mood really carries on into your dreams.

Don't have much to say there, though. Haven't actually thought it through. XD

Here's the quote of the day: "If a relationship feels like too much work after the first month, it'll be 10 times harder after a year." - Unknown
This one especially goes to all you girls out there, because guys mostly don't "work on" relationships, do they? (myself included)

Until next time,
-Zet

That Damn "Male Ego" Shit (aka Bathroom Thoughts)

Male Ego. You've heard about it all the time, and I'm guessing if you've actually bothered to read this far, you've been a victim in one way or another. Bear in mind that not EVERY guy is like this, and the main reason that I'm writing this is because of f*ckups that i've discovered in MYSELF.

As you can see from the title, this is something that just crossed my mind while I was in the shower. (Funny how that is, isn't it? Good ideas seem to hit me during the most unexpected moments. Watched something about it once on Discovery, but now I'm digressing again)

Anyway, the first thing that came to mind is how guys just seem to take their girlfriends/fiancees/wives for granted. I mean, these girls are really showing their love and affection for their man, and the guy feels that's just it. That it justifies them to stay with the girl, not really doing much for her in return. And you know what? Most of the time, the girl sticks around for a while longer.

Then there's the all-time favorite, the infamous "ego-boost". The most common form of this is the "ego-boost questions" or EBQ for short. Examples of which would be "Did you have fun?" (after a date), "How were things with your previous boyfriend?" and other questions regarding previous relationships, or even downright straightforward questions such as "How's my kissing?" or even "Am I good in bed?"
And each one of these times they're hoping to hear something good about themselves, or in the case of previous boyfriends, something bad about others, and usually the girl usually dutifully obliges. Kinda like the guy saying, "humor me" and the girl going, "okay"

Another thing is when a guy is told by his friends, "You're so lucky to be dating the hottest girl in class.", or "You're one lucky guy," while staring at said girlfriend's rack.
I mean, why can't he be lucky simply because she loves him? Because she accepts him for all his flaws? Why is it that the number one thing that he likes about her is her measurements, or how often kiss and/or fuck?

Why those things, instead of the way you can hear how much she loves him just by calling his name? Or the way she only has one dimple when she smiles? Or how when she cries, you can tell she's really upset by the way her lips tremble, or that she's angry when they're in a tight purse. How she repeats herself when she's angry and they're having an argument. How no matter what she does with her hair, there's always a stray lock that ends up on her forehead.

How she simply loves her guy, despite the fact that he misses all these things.

Well, that about covers today's rant. Thanks for reading.

Regards,
-Zet

Today's News (aka I Need A New Computer)

I seriously need a new one. My current one's full of viruses and bugs and worms - basically everything you'd find in the corpse of a test subject for an evil pharmaceutical company. I guess that makes my computer something of a zombie. Heck, I'm even doing these posts on my sister/cousin's computer. Which by the way has much better specifications than my own.

So anyway, I'm thinking of scrapping my own comp and getting a new one. Not anytime soon, but hopefully soon enough.

In other news, I did a "concert" today, which I think I mentioned in the last post. Pretty funny, seeing the little kids from the vocal classes perform. They were like 6, 7, maybe 8 years old. Nuff said.

Which reminds me, I need a new cell phone, too. This one's literally fallen apart. So that, with the computer thing, means that I've got to save up for quite some time right now. Which isn't likely to happen, knowing me (Knowing you, *Aaah* There is nothing we can't do~)

Guess whose song that was, without googling it. Just for kicks, you won't get a prize anyway.

Until next time,
-Zet


***EDIT
forgot this:
Quote of the day: "Husbands are the back door through which secrets can creep out to the outside world" - Stephen King's Lisey's Story. Not sure I got it entirely right, though.

Random Update (aka "it's midnight and i've nothing better to do")

Well, it's not actually midnight, it's 11.50-ish. Same difference to me.
I've got to go to sleep actually, since I need to get up early tomorrow. I've got this concert/performance thing held by the place where I take bass lessons. They hold student concerts every now and then. Suppose you all know what I'm talking about.

But I really don't feel like sleeping. It's been a short day and I haven't seen enough of my girlfriend. Yeah, I'm kinda obsessed, so what.

Wow, looks like it's gonna be midnight when this gets posted after all. lol

Quote of the day: "The most boring people are the ones who think they're the most interesting" by my good friend Fiona Gracia.

Cheers,
-Zet

First post. (a.k.a. First Letter)

So here's a random thought: some people are extremely judgemental towars others who think, act, or simply are different from themselves, or from the so-called "norm." I'm sure somebody's talked about this before, so i guess it's just one of those things you just can't stop talking about.

I had this friend, a kid, few years younger than me. Call her Susan. or Mary. Heck, call her John, see if I care. She was 16, I think maybe 15, not sure. Like any healthy teen, she likes boys. Like any healthy teen, she has crushes. Like any healthy teen, said crushes change from time to time. She's in highschool, she wants to have a boyfriend, she's seen her sister enter and end relationships, it's only natural that she wants a taste, too, right?

Apparently not, in some of my friends' opinion. Coming from moderately conservative families, they don't really go in and out of relationships that often, i guess, and in their opinion, the way Susan (aka Mary, aka John) skips from crushing on one guy to the next is cheap. Real cheap. They start calling her names, talking behind her back, the usual stuff. I talked to one of them about it and got their side of the story, and when i told them that i'd like to hear Susan's (aka Mary aka John) side of the story, they insisted it was pointless, that i didn't have to do it, that she was evil by nature.

It really bugged me to no end (literally, it seems by this post), how they just judged her like that, without hearing her out, or even wanting to. And why? Simply because she acted different from them. Because she thought different from them. Because she was different from them. Because they couldn't understand her.

I guess it just goes to show that people shun out that which is different, and which they don't understand. Just like racism. Just like homosexuality. Just like religion.

People are different. Until each and every one of us learn to accept this, our world will always have conflict.

Regards and respect,
-Zet Valentine

P.S:
comments, opinions are welcome. Even a simple "dude, you're dumb." Remember, we may not always agree with others, but we can learn to respect their opinions.

First post. (a.k.a Introductions and All That)

After much consideration, i've finally done it. Started blogging. Kinda late, yeah but who cares. I've actually had the idea in my head for quite some time, just never got around to do it. Mostly because I was worried I'd abandon it and stop posting after a short time. It might still happen anyway, but heck.

For those of you who know me and/or actually care about me, you might read this to wonder what I'm up to. For those of you who don't, feel free to laugh with me, or at me. For all of you, here's some possible things I might yap about in the future:
1. Random comments and thoughts. that's what NiP, EiG stands for: Nothing in Particular, Everything in General.
2. Short stories. I like to think of myself as a writer, but haven't done much of it lately, so yeah. Might publish a couple here for comments/input.
3. Things that you think would be fun/interesting/entertaining/just plain amusing for me to talk about. Just leave a comment on a previous blog post (preferably the newest). :D
4. Random shite about my life. Random BORING shite about my life. Which you probably might not want to read. lol

Suppose that's it for the introductions. First REAL post coming up in a few.

-Zet