Wishlist (for this year and the next one)

I'm pretty forgetful, so I decidedc to post my wishlist now, while I still remember them. It's likely to not change much next year either. Most of the stuff here are waaaay out of my league, and I'd feel bad if anyone got them for me.

• a pair (or several pairs) of socks
  
• Tekken 6
  
• a new pair of jeans
  
• Rock Band (any incarnation, preferably the newer ones)
• Guitar Hero 5
• A new bridge saddle for my bass
• that shirt I saw the other day at TA
• a new bandanna
• Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 2 (PS3 or PC)
• Under the Dome by Stephen King
• Paulo Coelho's The Winner Stands Alone
• A small bookshelf for my room
• Electronic setup to record bass into my laptop
• that life-size guitar for Guitar Hero/Rock Band
• A pair of plain black-white sneakers
  

Guess that's about it. It's a really wants vs. needs kinda thing.

Out of Pure Boredom (aka Follow the Girlfriend)

Well, I've got nothing to do here at my boarding house or whatever you call it, so I decided to follow what my girlfriend did and make a list of my 25 random thoughts and post them. Here they are:

1. Gw gak yakin gw bisa bertahan ngekos terus
   
2. I'm even less sure that I can live on my own in an apartment
3. Tomorrow's my first anniversary with my girlfriend!
4. I wish I didn't have a quiz tomorrow so I could hang out with her all day
5. Jarang-jarang nih sinyal lagi bagus.
6. Gw ngerasa masih belum berhasil sebagai pacar
7. Cowok mana sih gak bisa dijadiin tempat curhat ama ceweknya?
8. Nggak, bukan macam yang terbaik
9. Hahah, knapa gw jadi negatif ya?
10. Karakter HIMJA kan positif.
11. Yey dia sms!
12. My back hurts
13. I need to go to the spine center thingy
14. And the dentist
15. Unexpectedly, I miss my sister
16. I'll deny it wholeheartedly if anyone asks.
17. I need a haircut
18. Did I tell you tomorrow's my first anniversary?
19. I suddenly wish I could afford a fancy dinner
20. I miss playing the bass
21. Should I take vocal lessons as well?
22. Or maybe guitar lessons?
23. Am I trying to start a one-man band?
24. For some reason, they had a sale on condoms at Alfa mart last week, a pack for 9.900
25. ASTROBOY!! XD

Cheerio.
-Zet

Change of Plans (aka Just for the Sake of Posting)

Well, I've been meaning to post something new for a while now, but with crappy connection, I've not been able to do so. Even now I'm hoping I can get this posted.

Anyway, since I can't post something proper, how about a song? Lyrics that is. If you want the song, google it, or check it on youtube. Look for the broadway recording, if you can.
It's a duet from the Broadway musical Aida, the names before the verses are the characters' names.

Written in the Stars
from the Broadway musical Aida

Aida:
I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well

Radames:
Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
For some God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Aida (spoken):
Marry the princess, Radames...

Aida:
Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide

Radames:
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned

Aida & Radames:
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

Aida:
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

Aida & Radames:
For some God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Pretty good song for those of you who feel like victims of fate, eh?
-Zet

P.S.
no tag for once, too.

Culture Shock (aka Face Value)

One of my teachers (professors, lecturers, whatever) recently mentioned in class some cultural differences between the Japanese (and most Asian countries) and the West. One that particularly caught my interest was the way westerners are quite straightforward, while most Asians work their way around criticism.

Afterwards, a friend of mine mentioned her discomfort at how another friend of ours liked to hug, poke, and do other things that would get her (the other friend) killed if she (still the other friend) did it to me. I told her that if she doesn't like it, then just say it. Her response: "gak enak", as in she didn't want to offend her. Which led me to ask, "WHY?"
Because she didn't want to offend her. Because she didn't want to offend her. Because she was still considering her (again, the other friend's) feelings.

Right. So it's okay for HER to poke, hug, tickle, and otherwise ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF you, but you don't want to tell her because you're afraid you'll hurt HER feelings? Suit yourself.

In any case, I told her (and yet another friend who was there listening) that if they had something they held against me, they had better tell it to my face rather than talk about it behind my back. That was, after all, what we were doing, albeit unwittingly. What kind of friendship would last if bast on such a lie, anyway?

But seriously now, our people seem to be obsessed with so-called "formalities"; if you do something to offend someone, they could hold it against you forever. Truth be told, I really don't understand that line of thought. Personally, I prefer the "I may not like you, but that doesn't mean I can't work with you" policy. Personal relationships should be personal, professional relationships should be professional, and neither should affect the other.

Not to say that I'm devoid of sentiment. Of course I'll be offended at first if you tell it to my face. But I can get over it and really appreciate the fact that you came forward about it, rather than to keep it a secret.

I'm guessing that some, if not most of you go with the so-called "Asian" line of thought. I'll be perfectly clear that I'm not telling anyone to do things my way, nor am I claiming my way to be the right way. I'm just merely expressing my opinion. If you don't like it, it's perfectly fine; we just simply need to agree to disagree, because sometimes it's really impossible to ask others to see things your way. That's why it's important for me to try to at least understand where you're coming from, and respect where you stand, rather than make you do things my way.

Think about it.

Considerately,
-Zet

Posting paling gak penting (aka iseng2 nunggu dosen)

Haaiii... lagi di kelas nih kuliah, nunggu dosen.
ups dateng
daa

Demographics and Such (aka Life in the Time of Lebaran)

You know, it's funny how once every year, Jakarta empties up so much, it's almost dead. I mean there's virtually no traffic at all. Nor much of anything else for that matter. That tells us two things:

1. Most of Jakarta's residents are from out of town,
2. Jakarta is the only city in Indonesia. Or at least that's what the general populace thinks.

Then again, I haven't been around this country much, so I can't quite speak for other cities. But still, think about it. Whenever people want to do anything, work, education, etc. they look to Jakarta. Sure, that's no problem. The people can think of things however they want. The problem is when the government starts seeing things that way as well.

Why do I say this? Well for starters, somebody please tell me 20 other cities in Indonesia that has the same amount of skyscrapers as Jakarta. No, I'm not being sarcastic, I'm being curious. I've not seen much other places that has skyscrapers in Indonesia.

Still on the topic of urban development, how about that Busway thing? Have it anywhere else, besides Jakarta/Jabodetabek?

Oh, and don't forget that upcoming monorail project. Where's it being built? Jakarta and... no wait, just Jakarta? Hopefully not.

And what about that annoying commercial of a guy dropping all his stuff at the airport? What's the tag for that one? "visit JAKARTA" or something to that effect, right?

How about movies? Check your local movie website. Compare the movies playing in Jabodetabek to the other cities there. Go ahead, have a laugh. They're still playing movies we watched months ago.

Chrissake, people, how can we expect this country to grow, if the only city we focus on growing is Jakarta? No, I'm not saying that we aren't doing anything about other cities, I'm just saying it's not as good an effort.
Seriously now, we're a big country. The f*ckin biggest in southeast Asia. There are plenty of other places to develop, you know? Just because Jakarta is the capital city doesn't mean it has to be the ONLY city. Once you focus too much on one city, you leave the rest up for grabs. Just like our so-called "culture-war" with Malaysia. I hate them for what they did, but I gotta hand it to them, they're smart.

Bottom line, development in areas other than Jakarta would mean better growth nationally, and it'll help prevent shit like that happening again.

More on Time (aka Memory Lane)

Nostalgia is a very unique feeling, don't you think? No, rather, time, and our perception of it, is something very unique. I mean, time can be fast or slow, depending on how we look at things. Of all things, I think the fabric of time is the most abstract.

The other day, I went to my old school (feels funny, calling it that. I've only graduated for a few months), using the same road I've always used. It's funny, how it felt like I hadn't used that road for a very long time, when in fact it had only been a few months, and the emotions I felt as I passed through it.
It felt strange, as if so much had changed in my life in a short amount of time, and yet that stretch of road still remained the same. I felt a sense of longing, and loss; a stretch of road that had been a part of my life for so long, and that day would possibly be the last time I passed through it. I started to imagine myself, 10 years from now, passing through that road again, imagining how it would feel.

Maybe I just have an over-active imagination, but that wasn't the first time my mind has wandered off like that. Once, I was just walking to the mall, a few blocks from my house. It was a nice day, clear, not too hot, a cold breeze blowing. I just looked around as I walked, taking in my surroundings, then in my mind it was like I saw the town's development, from a patch of land, urban development, the first houses, etc., and all this happened within a few seconds.

Another time, I was at my girlfriend's house. She has this stuffed toy that she told me she's had since she was a baby. She showed me the toy - which I gotta say must have seen better days - and thought it was really nice that she was able to keep something for so long - if it was me, I would've lost it ages ago.
Anyway, I took the toy in my hands, and I looked at it. That's all I did. Carefully. Like an archaeologist would study ancient symbols, I gazed into the toy, trying to unlock its stories. Then, a single sentence crossed through my head, one that every historian asks when stumbling upon an artifact:

"What is your story?"

Almost at once I could see - no, sense everything that toy has been through, without actually knowing what. It was almost as if all that time had been imprinted in that toy, almost waiting to be seen.

Looking back on these things, it makes me feel like the thing we know as "memory" may not simply be something that belongs to us living creatures. Maybe memory is something that we share with everything, and everyone else. Maybe memory is something that belongs to the Universe itself.
After all, aren't our memories what make us who we are? And what are we, if not part of this universe?

Imaginatively yours,
-Zet

P.S:
My other thoughts on memory:

- What if that "genetic memory" thing from Assassin's Creed (a video game) is real?
- Maybe what we think of as "past lives" are actually a form of ancestral/genetic memory.

First Week of College (aka Late Adjustments)

Yep, I just finished my first week of college life, which is unfair to some of you, my friends, I know, but hey, I don't set the dates. Anyway, I'm totally exhausted right now, largely due to the fact that I still haven't fully adjusted to the pace of college life. I went to my friend's place yesterday, and his mom said that I lost weight! For those of you who know me, if it's true then it's a scary thing indeed.
Funny feeling, having the freedom to set your own schedule. Fun, and at the same time it's scary, because one slip and it's practically over.

I could bore you all by sharing what I've been doing the past week, but I won't. Instead, I'll bore you by telling you the things that I need to get done:

1. Get my toilet fixed. It's somewhat faulty, the water won't stop running after I flush it.
2. Do something about the extra laundry. My, erh.. boarding house? (dunno the english word for "rumah kos") does laundry for 1 outfit per day, any more than that we'll have to figure out for ourselves.
3. Sationery. Probably the most vital thing any student from any level would need, and I forgot it.
4. Food. There aren't any decent places to eat around my place. Seriously. There are some, sure, but I'll have to walk like 10 minutes to get there.
5. Time management. Something that I've never been good at so far, but I'll have to be capable of now. I'm taking a few clubs and extra-curricular activities, so I'm hoping to "learn by doing" so to speak. *crosses fingers*
6. Assignments. Yep, just because college started later for me than you guys, doesn't mean I have less assignments. (The quality/difficulty of the assignments, though, I can't say)

Funny thing, ever since college started I feel that I've gotten slightly better at small talk/socializing. That means I've gone from "MUTE" to "Talking, almost". It's a small step, sure, but it's still something to be proud of, isn't it?

Well, I think there's still more nonsense to talk about, but I'm too tired to talk about it. Bedtime for me. See ya.

Regards,
-Zet

In Need of Help (aka FreeFalling)

You've all felt it before, right? Sudden changes of mood, switching back and forth, or even around and round between moods? If you have, chances are you've felt what I'm feeling now: stuck in a sudden wave of negative emotions.

I've been feeling this way since yesterday, and I've actually been this way before, but I have to say that this is the worst it's ever been. I need help, but there's nobody to give it. Or maybe it's just that nobody who notices it.

Time Incandescent (aka Happy September)

First of all, do not ask me what "time incandescent" means. It's just one of those random phrases that fly into my head. Occasionally, these random phrases turn into stories or poems. Sometimes they just end up as a title to a song that's forming in my head (currently a pop-rock melody, somewhat upbeat, actually have a guitar lick in mind, only problem is my inability to play the electric guitar). Sometimes, as today, they end up as the title of a blog post.

Anyway, I switched on my cell phone today, and the small text on top of the screen read, "Tu 09-01-2009," and it dawned on me that it's already september. In two months it'll be my first anniversary with Sandra, which is a big thing for me, seeing that I've only been in 2-3 relationships before, the longest of which lasted a little over 8 months.

It's funny to think "it's already a year," but feel "it's only been a year?" at the same time. It's only been a year, but I feel like we've been together for much longer than that. It's like everything that happened before we were together took place in a different, distant place and time.

Which got me thinking, we've all heard about it before, people "marking" points in their lives where something big happened, and everything that happened before that event feels like a lifetime away. It's almost like reading a book, where the events of the one chapter an the next are connected, but span many pages.

I dunno, maybe it's just because I'm still young, maybe it's because I've not much experience in love that I feel like this. But I gotta tell ya, it's a pretty good feeling, one that motivates me to keep going at it in the years to come.

Youthfully naive,
-Zet

Quote of the day:
"Nobody gives it to you; you have to take it." - Jack Nicholson as Francis "Frank" Costello in The Departed