Damn (I Haven't Posted in a While)

Heya. It's been a while since I last posted something. You'd think that I'd have posted something on Valentine's/Chinese New Year (this being The Valentine Letters and such), huh? Well, I'd love to say that college got in the way, but truth be told, I've quite run out of things to talk about. Seems I've been experiencing a creativity block the past few weeks. Anyway, I've got time to kill, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

Something that's been going around in my mind for the past few days is the movie-favorite, oft-repeated phrase, "I will/would fight for you". Now, in old times, you might actually take this literally - someone would actually fight someone else for another certain someone, win the fight, then live happily ever after. Close book, cue "awww" and happy tears, roll credits.

Let's face it, each and every one of us would like to think that, should the occasion arise, we would heroically rise and do battle for the sake of our loved ones. For the most part, we really would. Protecting what matters is perhaps part of our basic human instinct. What most of us aren't prepared for, however, is when the threat we have to face is sometimes ourselves.

What happens then?
What happens when we become the very thing we swore to protect them from? How do you protect someone you love.. from yourself?

When you first held her in your arms, you knew that you'd never let any hurt, pain, suffering come to them if you could help it. But then you see her going through such pain and hardship, more than anything you could ever think of, and you're the one who caused it, what would you do? Could you live with yourself after that? Even though she says it's okay, that everything's fine, would you ever forgive yourself for doing something like that?

My answer: you just have to. The phrase "love hurts" doesn't mean you should be some pessimistic lowlife and just live with the pain. It means that the person you love isn't the one who can simply make you happier than you've ever felt, but they can also make you feel more pain then you've ever imagined.
It may sound odd at first, I know. But put it this way: God is capable of doing both great and terrible things. If God were only able to do great things, if God were limited to only doing good, then that means there is something higher, more powerful than God, and I'd rather bow to that higher being.

It's extremely complicated, even for me, but If you've fell in love before, you'd know what I'm talking about.

Think about it.

-Zet

P.S.
I've got a new "bachelor's pad": Apt. Mediterania, A/23 C/J. Renting it for the year. Have a looksee if you're in the neighborhood. (Special shoutout to dS members and friends)

The Things You Do for Love (aka I'm Back Home Again)

Well, I'm back home again, after another short stay at the hospital. Honestly, a few more years and I'll be familiar with the staff.

Anyway, here's something that crossed my mind once: you always want to do something for the person you love. Be it out of love itself, or fear of losing that love, it's like you're compelled to do something. You know something's wrong in a relationship when one or both sides aren't feeling compelled to do anything.

I've let this thought sit for a while in my mind, so it's kinda hard to put forward clearly.

The reason that this crossed my mind in the first place is because of this friend of mine. She was talking to me about one of her exes once, and told me how he never really did anything for her. Sure, he gave her gifts for her birthday and the usual holidays, but aside from that, he didn't really do anything to show her how he felt. Never told her or actually really showed her if she really meant anything to him at all. Needless to say, the relationship ended shortly afterward.

What I can't understand is why something like that could happen. Quite frankly I was baffled. But then I thought "why is it baffling?", and that's when it came to me: People do things for the ones they love. There's something wrong when you don't feel that pull to do something.

I can't claim to know why that is, but I know for sure that it is. It's been that way in every relationship, hasn't it? From the start, when you do things to impress them, to the very end where you do things to keep them happy.

You know what, I've got this weird headache, maybe because I haven't used my head in a while, and it's preventing me from writing a half-decent post. Keep an eye out for more posts on this subject. Next one might be more coherent. XD

-Zet

Sleepy Thoughts (aka "Female Ego?")

So I read this article a couple of weeks ago, can't remember when or where, about relationships, and how ego gets in the way of a good relationship. The way it was written implied that said 'ego' isn't only on the male half of the couple, but the female as well.

Now to be perfectly honest with you all, this was quite something new, because I never thought of it like that before. But then it did make perfect sense; after all, those people smarter than myself who classified the psyche with the "ego, superego, and id" didn't apply it strictly to guys.

Anyway, the article crossed my mind again as I was about to sleep last night, and that got me thinking (which is kinda hard to do when you're sleepy, in case you didn't know) about this so-called "female ego" - if there is such a thing. What am I talking about? There is such a thing, but I don't think it's a fundamental flaw like guys have. The only way for me to explain this would be through an example.

Okay, so say that there's a girl, and maybe she has a job, or is looking for one, a specific type of work that she's good at, or just plain interested in. She applies. Her boyfriend comes along and tries to offer an alternative to that work, maybe something closer to home, or nearer to the route he/they usually take day-to-day, something that (he thinks) is more practical. But she doesn't want to, no. She's pretty satisfied with the job she's already got, which he can't quite understand, so he keeps pestering her to take the other job. They get into an argument, with him saying that she complicates things, while she says that he's limiting her space/freedom of choice.

Now, in this case, whose ego really got the fight started? The guy? No, he isn't thinking about his self (his ego), he's just trying to offer alternatives. No, I think it's the girl's ego is what got in the way. He offers something else to do, and what she does is think that he's closing her space. While in fact he isn't trying to limit her, he just can't understand why she doesn't go with something that he thinks is more practical. Which makes his fault being stupid. I mean insanely stupid. Seriously now, if you girl doesn't want what you suggest, don't force it. That goes the other way too, and not just between couples.
Back on track, it's the girl's ego that started the mess; all she could think about was how he was crushing her space, forcing her to do things she didn't want to, locking her in. When he was only trying to help.

Seriously folks, they're both to blame here. But ego-wise, I think it's the girl's ego that got in the way.

Thoughtfully,
-Zet

Quote of the Day:

"It's not about changing the world, it's about doing our best to leave the world the way it is. It's about respecting the will of others, and believing in your own."
-- Big Boss, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots


P.S
I'd add another example, but as I was typing, it occurred to me that it's actually happened to me. Better not wash one's linen in public, eh?
Since I'm likely to get flamed for this, leave any comments in the Comments section, and not the shoutbox please.

That Damn "Male Ego" Shit (aka Bathroom Thoughts)

Male Ego. You've heard about it all the time, and I'm guessing if you've actually bothered to read this far, you've been a victim in one way or another. Bear in mind that not EVERY guy is like this, and the main reason that I'm writing this is because of f*ckups that i've discovered in MYSELF.

As you can see from the title, this is something that just crossed my mind while I was in the shower. (Funny how that is, isn't it? Good ideas seem to hit me during the most unexpected moments. Watched something about it once on Discovery, but now I'm digressing again)

Anyway, the first thing that came to mind is how guys just seem to take their girlfriends/fiancees/wives for granted. I mean, these girls are really showing their love and affection for their man, and the guy feels that's just it. That it justifies them to stay with the girl, not really doing much for her in return. And you know what? Most of the time, the girl sticks around for a while longer.

Then there's the all-time favorite, the infamous "ego-boost". The most common form of this is the "ego-boost questions" or EBQ for short. Examples of which would be "Did you have fun?" (after a date), "How were things with your previous boyfriend?" and other questions regarding previous relationships, or even downright straightforward questions such as "How's my kissing?" or even "Am I good in bed?"
And each one of these times they're hoping to hear something good about themselves, or in the case of previous boyfriends, something bad about others, and usually the girl usually dutifully obliges. Kinda like the guy saying, "humor me" and the girl going, "okay"

Another thing is when a guy is told by his friends, "You're so lucky to be dating the hottest girl in class.", or "You're one lucky guy," while staring at said girlfriend's rack.
I mean, why can't he be lucky simply because she loves him? Because she accepts him for all his flaws? Why is it that the number one thing that he likes about her is her measurements, or how often kiss and/or fuck?

Why those things, instead of the way you can hear how much she loves him just by calling his name? Or the way she only has one dimple when she smiles? Or how when she cries, you can tell she's really upset by the way her lips tremble, or that she's angry when they're in a tight purse. How she repeats herself when she's angry and they're having an argument. How no matter what she does with her hair, there's always a stray lock that ends up on her forehead.

How she simply loves her guy, despite the fact that he misses all these things.

Well, that about covers today's rant. Thanks for reading.

Regards,
-Zet