The Judgement Call (aka It's Nothing Personal)

Let's face it, we've all been judged before by others, be it by our parents, peers, teachers, colleagues, or even complete strangers. Heck, chances are we've done the same to others, consciously or not.

People judge others by the way they think, act, talk, heck even the way they look. This is especially true in a conservative society such as ours. (Opinions may differ, but I still count Indonesian society as EXTREMELY conservative) The sad reality of it is that how people judge you, how they see you through their personal spyglass of the world affects how they act towards you in general. This reaction ranges from the mild hesitation when getting acquainted to downright condescending behavior.

What's most concerning to me is that people take this attitude with them everywhere. I mean, they really take it to heart. It seems to me that most Indonesians are foreign to the concept of "not taking it personal". Once they make a negative judgement on someone, they only see that person in a negative light. Which, I suppose, is some sort of generalization.

Here are some of my personal experiences. I wear a bandanna almost everywhere I go. For some reason, the image of someone wearing a bandanna is tied to the gangster/mob/thug/what have you culture. Everywhere I go while wearing said bandanna, I get stared at cautiously by most people, curiously by some (especially kids). Then there's my tattoo. It's only one, and not that big, mind you, but my ex didn't like it, mostly because of the (old-fashioned, stupid, idiotic) association with gangs. Sure, gang members like to wear tattoos, but not every guy who has a tattoo is a gangster. Seriously now.
(On a side note, I'd like to thank my loving girlfriend for letting me be myself, tattoo and all. :D)

It seems that people have this predetermined concept of what's "right" and "wrong", and anything that's different by the slightest is enough call for caution. (you might want to refer to previous post "First Letter" as well)
Seriously now, just because you don't agree with how someone acts/looks, doesn't mean you have to force them to do as you want them to. Is it really that hard for people to "agree to disagree"?

Simple example: I'm an agnostic (google it if you don't know what that is), and most if not all of my friends are religious people. Naturally, we don't see eye-to-eye on that. With some of said friends, I've discussed the matter of religion (thankfully they're open-minded people, otherwise I'd be six feet under right now), and we see each other's point. No, we don't agree on it, but we understand what the other has to say, and respect that. And guess what? We get along perfectly fine. (This gives me an idea for a future post on atheism/agnosticism)

Again, people, try to understand what other people have to say, where they stand. You might not agree with them, but that doesn't mean you have to bitch on them either.

Thoughtfully yours,
-Zet